just going through my head

i used to wonder what i did wrong in order for things to happen the way they did.  and then i started to realize that nothing really went wrong at all.  i always had people there for me at one point.  maybe the people weren't always the same.  maybe some of those people were off and on again in my life.  there are a few who have stuck through and through.  my mother for example.  there are those in the on and off that i would never want to lose for good.  brian being that main one.  and there are the new people.  some newer than others.  and of course i worry about what happens when we fight.  and of course i worry about what they think of me.  but that's just me.  and i know that even if my worries are based on facts, i still have the others.  i still have newer people coming into my life daily.  i might not realize who they are right away.  

lately i've been asking myself, what did i do right to have all of this happen to me now.

i'm not complaining at all

i'm not going to wait for something bad to happen

i'm going to take this all one step at a time and hope for the best outcome

i used to think that it was my duty to keep people together.  to work out their problems with them as some sort of mediator.  i used to think that because i could help everyone else out that i couldnt help myself and that is why i always failed so horribly with friends and relationships.  and i used to think that when my parents split up and i couldnt stop it, that i had failed in my only reason for living

i used to think all of that

now i just think that i'm lucky to have all of these people in my life

thanks to all of you

blah blah

yeah, i'm just posting this one for the hell of it...i wanted to write something completely different but i no longer want to write that

anyhow, i'm going to watch the newest and (thankfully) final harry potter movie in a bit...i just hope that it is not as utterly confusing as the last one was.  aren't these movies supposed to be for kids?  i'm nearly 32 and i couldn't wrap my head around what the fuck was going on in that last one...and i've seen the ones before it

anyhow, yeah, i plan on being confused anyhow...later

son of a bitch!

See...blog completely forgotten about and ignored for weeks...well, i think it was weeks, i don't even know

anyhow, what's been happening?  stuff...lots of stuff.  Playing lots of shows, hanging out with awesome friends and one very awesome girl

yeah, that's about it

oh, and my birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks...start saving

what is this? round 8?

What I need to do when I start a blog is NOT FORGET THE PASSWORD!  Remember that Scott, it shouldn't be that hard.  I keep signing up and starting different blogs, but then I take a while off of posting and completely forget what email address I was using for it and what password I used.  Maybe I should just stop forgetting to write in these things.

Anyhow, so I'm starting again.  Basic idea, same as all of the other blogs I've had; I'm just going to ramble on here.  It'll be a sounding board I guess.  Nothing fancy on here for the most part.  I'm going to have to save that for writing that helps with an income and not a blog that doesn't get me fuck all.  So yeah, plenty of grammar mistakes abound!  Plenty of my ever favourite "..."'s.  Plenty of this website telling me (like every other site does) that there is no "u" in words like favourite.  I believe there is you silly spell checker.  There has been one in it my whole life and I refuse to believe that anyone would ever spell it without one.

Crazy segue time!

When I was a kid the show V was on TV for the first time.  For some strange reason the ads for it would scare the living shit out of me.  I've watched them online recently (yes, it took me this long to build up the courage to watch them) and I can't figure out what frightened me so much.  I mean I was terrified to the point that when reciting the alphabet in school, I actually excluded the letter "v" because I didn't want to think of the show.  I'm weird that way.  I'm also trying to erase the state of Tennessee from my mind because I'm sick of hearing my dad sing the Davey Crockett theme song.

But yeah, there will be rambling.  There will be horrible reviews of books.  There will be ranting (which is essentially angry rambling).  There will even be rambling about rambling!  And two weeks from now I will totally forget about this blog and have to start up a new one a few months later.

Oh well, later kids.

-scott